The Three Bears and the Goldilocks Intruder
It was a beautiful Saturday morning for the Bahr family. The sun was shining, the grass was crisp and green, and the pond was clean and shiny. The Bahr family was planning a relaxing picnic near the pond and maybe even cool off a bit in it. It was warm enough, after all.
“Arthur, have you seen the honey anywhere?” Bernadette Bahr asked that morning as she was planning on making sandwiches for the family. She had already made porridge for breakfast, and she figured they might not want to eat it for their picnic. So, she placed it in the refrigerator in case they might want it for a leftover dinner.
“Have you tried lookin’ in the side cabinet above the coffee maker? I think Teddy may have last used it,” Arthur Bahr answered from his son’s bedroom as he was trying to wake the boy up.
Bernadette sighed and opened the side cabinet above their metallic red coffee maker. Sure enough, the bottle of honey was shoved way in the back- a place too far for her to reach even on her tippy-toes. So, she grabbed a wooden chair and stood on it to get the honey for their picnic. “Kids these days,” she thought to herself.
Speaking of kids, Teddy stumbled into the kitchen a few moments later while rubbing his eyes. “Morning, Mom,” he yawned as he opened the refrigerator for his porridge.
“Good morning,” Bernadette replied, “I’ve told you many times before not to put the honey way in the back of the side cabinet.”
Teddy merely nodded as he swallowed his porridge. He was used to his mother lecturing him about stuff like that; that was what mothers were for, after all. That was nothing new about this.
“Are you excited about our picnic today?” Bernadette asked, making sandwiches with the honey she had just reached for.
Teddy looked, his brown eyes fully open. “Wait, you mean it’s today?”
Bernadette nodded, wrapping the sandwiches in cellophane. “It’s the perfect day for it,” she said.
Teddy hopped out of his chair and looked out the window. Sure enough, the day was warm and sunny, the grass was crisp and green, and the pond was clean and shiny. What a beautiful day! It was even warm enough to play in the pond (if his parents would let him). Teddy sprang back to his room and grabbed his red swimming trunks.
“Okay, is everybody ready to go?” Arthur asked with a heavy, blue-and-yellow plaid blanked wrapped around his shoulders. In one hand, he was holding a brown wicket basket; in another, he was holding a fluffy, white towel in case Teddy planned on playing in the pond.
“I am!” Teddy shouted excitedly as he jumped right into the middle of the living room.
“What about you, honey?” Arthur asked his wife.
Bernadette stifled her giggles. Honey- what a funny coincidence. Spouses may call each other “honey” all the time, but that wasn’t going to erase Teddy placing the actual honey way back into the side cabinet.
“Bernie?” Arthur crossed his arms and tapped his foot.
Bernadette slowly turned her head and smirked at her husband. “Let me pack some sweets for us, honey.”
Arthur chuckled at the way Bernadette said “honey”. Something must’ve happened with the honey for her to say it like that.
After packing some dessert for a sweet treat, Arthur opened the front door and said, “Okay, gang! Let’s go!” And off they went, hand in hand, to have the most fun, most relaxing picnic they could ever have!
Meanwhile, as the Bahrs were skipping towards the edge of the pond, a human girl with fluffy, golden blonde hair was sneaking around in the forest, hiding behind tree after tree. The girl was wearing a poofy, pink dress and black Mary Janes. She looked like a nice, rich girl, so why was she sneaking around in the forest? That… that was something only the girl knew.
While sneaking around in the forest, the girl noticed a small, wooden cabin that was a nice, warm brown- a brown as warm and welcoming as hot chocolate on a cold, snowy day. Oh, how quaint! It must belong to some nice family. It must be warm and cozy in there, and that was the first thing the girl needed. So, after looking around to make sure no one was watching, she ran towards the cabin and climbed into the open window. Seriously, what kind of idiot leaves a window open while they were gone? Whoever lived in this cabin must really live a nice life.
The girl landed hard on her knees. After rubbing her now-bruised knees, she looked around the room she had landed in. There was a comfy, olive green couch that looked like it had been sat on for some time. On top of it, there was a heavy quilt, crocheted in all sorts of colors. The wood was a wooden brown, shiny and clean, like it had been recently mopped. There was a beige coffee table right in front of the couch with a small television on top of it. This must be the living room. And the kitchen was right next to the living room!
The girl’s stomach growled like an angry lion. Boy, was she starving! She couldn’t remember the last time she had eaten. Thankfully, there was a tall, shiny refrigerator right across from her. There had to be some delicious food in there! The girl opened the refrigerator and quickly slumped her shoulders. There wasn’t that much food in the refrigerator. Either they were running out of groceries, or they were on some sort of a picnic. The only things in the refrigerator were three plastic bowls of some kind of porridge- one green, one purple, and one blue.
She grabbed all three bowls of porridge and placed them onto the wooden kitchen table. She removed the cellophane from the top of the bowls and test-tasted all three bowls. First one was the blue bowl. She grabbed a silver spoon out of a drawer and plopped one tiny spoonful of porridge onto her tongue. Yow! This porridge was hotter than lava from an exploding volcano! What kind of idiot would want their food to be that scalding hot?!
Next, she scooched the purple bowl towards and tried that porridge, and the temperature of the previous was the exact opposite of this porridge. The porridge in the purple bowl was more frigid than Antarctica! Seriously, it was walking into the Himalayas barefoot and making a snow angel in just your underwear. How long was this porridge in the refrigerator?!
Alright, this last bowl had to be good, or at least decent. She didn’t want to starve to death and pass out in some stranger’s house, did she?! So, the girl pulled the green bowl towards and cautiously fed herself some porridge. Luckily, it was some good porridge. No, it wasn’t just good- it was perfect- the best porridge she had ever eaten in her entire life! It wasn’t too hot, but it wasn’t too cold. It was just the right temperature! After finishing the last of the porridge, the girl rubbed her stomach and burped. That porridge was the best meal she had ever had- way better than the food she had at the last place she stayed at.
The girl stretched and stumbled downstairs into another room. This room had ruby red walls, a wooden floor the color of caramel, and three reclining chairs that were the same colors as the bowls in the kitchen. They looked comfortable enough, so the girl decided to find one to relax in for a little bit before she left the cabin.
The first chair the girl decided to plop down on was the blue chair. Well, she didn’t really plop onto the chair because it was tiny- tiny like a baby! The chair was so tiny that the girl was practically curled up in a ball. Huh, some comfort. She needed a taller chair for her taller body.
So, she chose the green chair. While it was taller than the blue chair, it was much too tall for the girl. This chair must’ve been built for a giant. Seriously, the chair was as big and as tall as the Himalayas! What kind of steep climb was this girl having to do, and how was she going to get down? Her feet weren’t even on the ground! Was she going to have to jump down and risk injuring her feet or God forbid her knees?! It looked like she was gonna have to. So, she positioned her feet and jumped with all her might. She made it- no injury in sight! That was a relief.
The last chair the girl tried out was the purple chair. That was more like it. It wasn’t too short, but it wasn’t too tall, either. This was the life! And the reclining feature on the chair worked perfectly, too. That way, she didn’t have to curl up like a ball, yet her feet were still able to safely reach the ground. The girl closed her gray eyes and sighed in relief.
Some time must’ve passed because, when the girl opened her eyes, the sun was shining brighter, and the air had gotten slightly warmer. Uh-oh, did she fall asleep?! Her heart started pounding against her chest like a drummer’s solo performance. The people who owned this cabin weren’t back already, were they?! Did they see her?! She jumped out of the purple chair and dashed all around the house, looking for signs of life other than herself. But wouldn’t you know it? There wasn’t a single soul with her- not even a police car! Boy, was that a miracle!
All that excitement made her tired, so she decided to take another nap- this time, in a more secretive place. Besides, her eyes were still heavy from the last nap, so another one wouldn’t hurt much, would it? So, she walked into the first bedroom she could find, which was a big, master bedroom with wooden brown walls and a huge, king-sized bed with a hefty purple blanket and bouncy green pillows. That looked like the perfect bed to snuggle up in! So, the girl flew into the bed and… ouch! That thing was as hard as a rock! It was a miracle her back wasn’t broken into a million little pieces! Seriously, how could someone sleep in a bed like this?! Anywhere else was a better place for a good nap.
So, the girl searched around the house for another bedroom and found a smaller one with blue walls and a small bed with sky blue blankets and a green pillow. Surely, this one was more comfortable, right? She cautiously laid down and pulled the blankets up to her chest. Yes, yes it was more comfortable than the last bed; it was actually more comfortable than the fluffiest cloud in the world! Such bliss! The girl had never laid down on a bed as comfortable as this! She burrowed her head into the pillow and closed her eyes for the best nap ever.
Meanwhile, the Bahr family was on their way home from their picnic. Their bellies were full, and they were all damp from playing in the pond. The wicket basket Bernadette was carrying was almost empty, cellophane being the only thing left in it. The three bears were all nothing but smiles, smiles, smiles. But that wasn’t going to stop them from being a regular family.
“Now, Teddy, remember to dry off real well and change into some warm clothes,” Bernadette told her son.
“Oh, Mom! It’s still warm and sunny outside. Can’t I just let the air and sun dry me off?” Teddy objected in a joking whine.
Arthur rolled his eyes. “Yeah, the sun and air are doing a great job of drying you off right now,” he replied sarcastically.
Bernadette giggled while Teddy crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. The family was still in good faith until Arthur noticed something off about their home. It didn’t look like it did when they first left; it looked more like someone had broken into their house. He motioned for his wife and son to stay back as he investigated the scene. Sure enough, someone had broken into their home. It was obvious from the bowls of porridge sprawled on the kitchen table. How could somebody do this?! What kind of criminal would break into an innocent person’s house and eat their food like this?!
Bernadette and Teddy were beginning to have an uneasy feeling; their stomachs dropped in fear. They hoped Arthur was safe in there. They didn’t want something bad happening to him. He was family- he was their anchor keeping the boat grounded.
Finally, Teddy couldn’t take it anymore. He broke away from his mother’s grasp and dashed into the cabin. Where was he? He couldn’t find his father anywhere! Was his father okay?! Just then, he heard his father’s scream from his bedroom. Oh, dear… something bad has happened to him! Teddy ran into his own bedroom and noticed a human girl with golden blonde hair sleeping in his bed! He had to scream about this, too.
“Mom! Someone’s broken into our house!” Teddy hollered at the top of his lungs.
As fast as lightning, Bernadette ran into Teddy’s room and saw what both Arthur and Teddy were staring at- a human girl with golden blonde hair sleeping in Teddy’s bed. She, too, had to scream at that fact. This made the girl suddenly wake up and scream back as soon as she saw three bears screaming at her.
“Call the cops, Bernie. We have an intruder we’re dealing with,” Arthur sternly commanded.
Bernie made a mad dash to the kitchen and phoned the police. In a short moment, a tall, gray wolf dressed in a police officer’s uniform stormed into the cabin and entered Teddy’s room, where he placed the girl in handcuffs.
“What are you doing in my son’s bed, you creep?!” Arthur shouted at the girl.
“And why have you eaten all of our porridge?” Bernie added with tears stinging her brown eyes.
“And how long have you been here?” the police wolf asked without any emotion in his voice.
All those questions and menacing stares broke the girl down into loud sobs. Everyone was taken aback. The girl looked like a, nice, innocent person. Why would she break into someone’s house like that?
“You guys wouldn’t understand a thing!” the girl cried hysterically.
The wolf stared into her gray eyes and asked, “What do you mean by that?”
The girl hiccupped her sobs and answered, “I’m homeless, and I just wanted a nice, warm place to stay at for a while! I haven’t eaten anything in a while, and that porridge seemed like heaven compared to the previous food I had eaten back at those homeless shelters! Seriously, do you have any idea how disgusting those places are?! They’re never clean, the food is always expired or stale, and the people there are creeps! I just wanted to run away from it all!”
Hearing the girl’s backstory made the Bahrs feel bad for her. Sure, she was a criminal for breaking into their home, but at least she wasn’t here to steal their stuff. She just wanted a warm place to stay at.
“That’s… quite unfortunate to hear, but it’s still illegal to break into someone’s home,” the police wolf said. He took a small notepad and pen out of his shirt pocket and added, “So that means I have to arrest you and place you in a holding cell. Can you give me your name?”
The girl hiccupped one last time before answering in a quiet voice, “Goldilocks.”
“I mean your real name,” the police wolf elaborated, his icy blue eyes furrowed in irritation.
Goldilocks sighed heavily and answered in an even quieter voice, “Lola Goldberg.”
The three bears stared in stunned silence as the police wolf carried Goldilocks, aka Lola Goldberg, out of their home and into a police car. What an odd encounter this had been.
“Dear, I feel kind of bad for her,” Bernadette said as she placed the wicket basket onto the kitchen table, “The poor girl has been homeless the whole time and just wanted a warm place to stay at.”
“I don’t know why she had to pick our place out of all places,” Arthur replied as he walked into the den and plopped down onto his chair.
“I thought she was weird, sleeping in my bed like that,” Teddy said.
Bernadette and Arthur nodded. The three bears had a strange feeling that they would never forget about that Goldilocks intruder.
