Can We Ever Be 100% Honest?
I’ve been going to therapy once a month (or more accurately once every six or so weeks) since around the beginning of July of this year (as of this article’s publication). I’ve actually been going to therapy since the middle of 2020, but I’ve had a long hiatus since I’ve been dumped from one therapist to another, and now the one I’ve been seeing recently is my third one.
Anyways, I’ve made some great stride in therapy. I’ve opened up a lot and found out great ways to cope with my depression and anxiety. Fun fact: this blog here is one of these outlets I’ve used ever since I’ve started therapy. And I’ve spilled my honest opinions on loads of topics since August 2020, whether they be controversial or safe opinions. I’ve even opened up with some short stories, a couple of letters, and song lyrics.
However, I still have thoughts, opinions, and confessions that I’ve yet to spill out to anyone, including my therapist. And it was during my last therapy appointment (as of this article’s publishing) that I’ve started wondering…
Can we ever be 100% honest?
Like I’ve said previously, I’ve been going to therapy around once a month, and I’ve overall started go to therapy since 2020. While I’ve opened myself a lot, I still keep many things to myself. You can click on some of the link I’ve put into this article to read about some of my controversial opinions, but I still have some that I will probably never publish.
Have you ever heard of the two phrases “skeletons in the closet” and “Everyone has something to hide.”? They’ve stuck around because they’re true. We all have skeletons in our closets that we want to hide. The fact of the matter is that we’re never 100% ourselves.
“But Emily, I’m always 100% myself!” you might be boasting. Are you, really? Have you ever told anyone all of your deepest, darkest secrets? Do you always show your true colors? My guess is that you probably don’t. In fact, you might be putting on a façade on the internet at this very moment. I know I am.
Every time we show ourselves to even just one person, we put on a façade. Whether we’re at work, school, or even with friends and family, we never really show our true selves. Have you ever had to hold back on some of your thoughts so that you don’t upset anyone? Probably so. I’ve been in that situation many times.
And that problem has grown tenfold in recent years due to cancel culture. Now, don’t get me wrong, if somebody does something truly heinous (like rape or abuse), they shouldn’t have any claim to fame. But I personally think we’re taking things too far with cancel culture.
Remember those articles I’ve linked here earlier? How many of you secretly have these same opinions as well? It’s probably a good amount of you, but you’re most likely too scared to post them because you’re scared of getting so much backlash. And I can see where you’re coming from. I don’t usually talk to many people online, but if I had more comments on those posts, chances are that some of them could get pretty nasty.
I’ve heard the stories of people who have posted some offensive jokes online. Remember that lady on Twitter who said she hoped she didn’t get AIDS during her trip to Africa, and then said she was kidding because she was white? She got a ton of flack for it. She had to delete her account, she had an entire hashtag dedicated to her landing, BuzzFeed made an entire list article about her, and her workplace even removed her name from their website’s contact page.
While I didn’t find her joke funny in the slightest, did she really deserve all that flack? Maybe some comments telling her the joke wasn’t funny could’ve been enough, but contacting her job was just too far. And this isn’t the first case of someone’s job being contacted over an offensive joke, either.
For example, Gilbert Gottfried used to be the voice behind the Aflac duck in those commercials back in the 2000s. Then he got fired for making a joke about the earthquake/nuclear disaster in Japan back in 2011. Was it too soon? Probably. Did he deserve to have his job taken away from him? I don’t think so. Gilbert Gottfried was a comedian; he sometimes made offensive jokes. So, while the joke may have been in poor taste, it’s not like this was completely unexpected from him.
This doesn’t happen to just famous comedians, either. Right around the same time as Gottfried’s firing, Dan Turner, the press secretary of Mississippi’s former governor Haley Barbour, had to resign because he also made a joke about the 2011 Japan disaster. While Turner had made several offensive jokes (notably about Janet Reno’s gender and the 1970s genocide in Cambodia), this joke must’ve been the straw that broke the camel’s back.
While I don’t think he should’ve been pressured to resign, I do see why he did so. Unlike Gilbert Gottfried, Dan Turner is not a comedian; he’s a politician. Therefore, a joke like that would’ve been more unprofessional in his situation, just like the joke that lady made on Twitter. Still, it’s just not right for someone to lose their job over a joke, no matter how tasteless or offensive it may be.
While getting fired for a joke may be awful, it’s nowhere near as bad as going to prison and/or being murdered for one. Several comedians have gone to prison for making jokes about indecent topics and (most of the time) their governments. Some comedians, like Ablikim Kalkun, The Mustache Brothers in Myanmar, and Idrak Mirzalizade were jailed for making jokes about their governments. Khasha Zwan was murdered in 2021 for joking about the Taliban. Even in America, comedians like George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, and Mae West faced legal problems for their jokes.
I bring this all up because censorship is a huge reason as to why we can’t ever be 100% honest. No matter who we’re with or what we’re doing, we’re, in some way, censoring ourselves. Now, tell me — is this really a great way of living in a society? Never hearing another perspective no matter how bizarre or offensive it may be? Never having a discussion or debate?
Sometimes we need to be honest (and yes, that does include being offensive) to raise discussions and maybe improve our society. When we discuss society, we need to be authentic with the past. The past, as we all know, isn’t as squeaky-clean as we would like it to be. In fact, some of the terms many find offensive today were the politically correct terms back then.
What I’m trying to say is that we need to be more honest with ourselves and our world. It’s no use censoring things because there are people who will either remember the past or see through the present’s lies. Censorship doesn’t help anyone in the short run or the long run. It only stifles honesty. And as long as we’re still censoring ourselves and each other, we can never be 100% honest.
